Managing Expectations
(and how much you may like or dislike the creator(s) of this site)
- Your Disappointment. Your anticipation is important to us. Please read this disclaimer carefully (the “Disclaimer”) as it outlines the myriad ways in which your expectations might not align with our reality. You may have hopes and dreams about our offerings, but we must gently remind you that not all promises may come to fruition as you’d like. Think of this as a friendly nudge from a friend who occasionally forgets your birthday. In some cases, we will provide notice if we suddenly change our minds about something, or if we’ve simply miscalculated how many donuts we can eat at once.
- Your Expectations. Many of our offerings allow you to engage and create your own expectations or receive material that might make you go, “Wow, that’s something!” However, we don’t claim ownership of your expectations—those remain entirely yours, and you are solely responsible for them. a. When you engage with us, you understand that your expectations may be used worldwide, potentially resulting in them being saved, recorded, reproduced, broadcast, transmitted, or shared without compensating you—kind of like that time you shared your ice cream but didn’t get any back. If you don’t want your expectations to go global, it might be best to keep them to yourself. You represent that you have (and will have) all necessary rights to your expectations, and that any unmet promises won’t violate any laws or the rights of others—because, let’s be honest, it’s hard to litigate against the universe.
- Reasons We May Change Our Minds. Much like how your plans can change when the pizza delivery arrives, we may also reassess our decisions due to various circumstances, including, but not limited to: i. Mildly reasonable factors: ADHD-induced distractions, stress from trying to meet everyone’s needs, or simply reconsideration based on new data (like, “Oops, we miscalculated the number of snacks we actually have”). ii. Moderately unlikely factors: Drunken black-out benders where we may have promised the moon and stars during karaoke night, or an inter-office betting pool that may have led to us betting on whether we could actually deliver what we said we would (spoiler: we usually lose). iii. Highly improbable factors: Our minds being erased by shadowy government agents because we were “onto something,” or being pursued by Disney Executives (who totally might be the Illuminati but shh, you didn’t hear it from us).
- The Finer Points of Reality. You are ultimately accountable for your engagement with us. By engaging, you agree to not hold us liable for the consequences of misplaced expectations or fleeting whims. a. When using our services, we ask you to follow these unspoken rules: i. Don’t do anything illegal—seriously, we’re not ready for that level of drama. ii. Avoid exploiting or harming others, especially if it involves children or cute animals (we have enough of our own chaos to deal with). iii. Don’t send spam or engage in phishing; we have enough trouble fending off our own unsolicited thoughts. iv. Please refrain from generating inappropriate content; our internal committee for reviewing that kind of thing is still in an existential crisis.
- A Note on Clarity. In case you’ve wandered off in thought (which we totally understand), we reserve the right to amend or withdraw any of our promises, expectations, or hopeful suggestions at any time, often in a dramatic fashion. If we feel the need to revisit this Disclaimer due to unforeseen circumstances, we might even do so with a trumpet fanfare.
By engaging with us, you accept that sometimes, the reality doesn’t match your expectations, and that’s perfectly okay—unless, of course, you were expecting a parade. In that case, we can’t help you.